Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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