Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
