So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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