when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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