piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Randomize
