hotel room ftw
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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