Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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