i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
