Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
