so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize