Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
