I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
