just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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