he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
