You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
