Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
