i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
