I am puke
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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