He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
