the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
