He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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