Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize