Who did Billy Mays play for?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
