there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
