My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I cockslap morals
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
