Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
