There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
