I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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