smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
