Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
