I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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