he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
