i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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