someone threw a dead crab at me
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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