yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
