Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
