I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
