that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
