you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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