so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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