You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
