You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm too high and old for this...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
