Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
