what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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