wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize