Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize