wakey wakey hands off snakey
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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