i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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