just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
