Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
