her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
