Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize