Duck Duck Cougar?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
