Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
