first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
