Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
