I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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