Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
did i just pee glitter
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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