remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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