yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
