I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
