Tell her she can't have a vagina
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
