if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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