my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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