Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize