apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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