how can u be prego again
I just saw a hot homeless man
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
