dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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